I have been praying for God to give me some exciting news lately. I'm unsure of what that news may be but I'm ready for a glimmer of excitement. I've had my share of excitement lately but it's not the kind that I really want to write home about. I can say without a doubt that our house has not been without a dull moment for a few months now. And as the dust has settled I'm wondering what could possibly be next.
I feel like I'm in a marathon and I've just finished. I am at a place to catch my breath but at any moment God could shoot the gun off once again for the next leg of the race to start. I can feel it building as I write. But I'm really praying for God to let this next leg of the race to be one of laughter and a sense of belonging somewhere. I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone reading right now, but I've felt like I'm all over the place but not really any "certain" place. It's a known fact that women need to "nest". They need a place that is a sanctuary and a place to call home. But I haven't felt like that's where I'm at. I feel like God is going to move us into a different house, which I am perfectly fine with. I am ready to "downsize" our finances. I don't want our lives to revolve around a house payment. But it feels like it's more than that. I hear that God is wanting us to get back to the basics. And I'm unsure of what that all means. But I do know that if He is telling us to do that, He will provide the rest of the details.
As my husband and I were praying this morning, I saw the 2 of us standing in quicksand and we have been standing there for so long looking for a stick to grab a hold of or someone to come along and help us out. But then I saw God's mighty hand reaching out for us and all we had to do was put our hands in the air for Him to pull us out. I think sometimes in life we look to people and things to make us feel "settled" or happy but those things can never fully make us satisfied. We need to stop looking around and look straight up. I know that in my most unsettled place in life that I can pray, journal or read and find the answers. The answers may not come to pass in the form of help right away because God needs to build our character within it. And I know that is exactly the place I am right now.
God doesn't want me to "nest". He wants me to stay a little uncomfortable so I don't stand where I am at for too long. Because if that happens I become stagnant and move into a space that is too hard to move out of. I've been there before in my life and I know I don't want to go back there ever again. So I'm willing to be right where I'm at today....waiting for the gun to go off to sprint for the next call of duty....whatever that may be. But in the meantime I am going to do the training required to do it properly. And for me right now, it's studying and writing. What is it for you?
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies[a]? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7 (NIV)
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