I am flying on cloud nine for sure this morning. It's not a secret that we have had our share of struggles lately but God showed us something new and unique last night. Or maybe I should just say He showed ME. God has been telling me for awhile to let people in and to allow them to love on me. I felt like something was going to happen but I wasn't sure what it was. And to be honest, I kept praying against a tragedy. And the thought of needing to rely on anyone else scared me. I've tried that my entire life and it never panned out so well. I've had family come and go, friends come and go and it just made me put a wall up thinking I could not trust anyone. It seemed as though the people that I got the closest to ended up breaking my heart or worse.
I can say that I am relieved that the "tragedy" I had been praying against didn't happen and that what God was preparing me for was Grandchildren in our house instead. I'm not saying it's been a road of bliss. It's actually been a road of adjustment that has been difficult for everyone involved and we're still not there yet. We're still not settled in to the routine of family because I don't know if anyone here really knows the meaning of that word.
My husband and I have so many variables in our lives right now. We are unsure where we are supposed to move to. We know we are supposed to sell our house but unsure of the next destination. We pray and we pray looking for the sign saying that this is it. We prayed yesterday morning for God to either shut everything down or allow our business to start making money. My husband came home yesterday and said he had sold 2 cars. He then asked me what I thought God was saying and I just broke down in tears. I just told him that I can't think about it anymore. Everything is overwhelming and it takes too much effort to try and figure it out. My brain is dead tired and fried. I even asked him if he thought I needed to be on medication in which I got the "husband look". Some of you may know the look I'm talking about.
But then God did something for us last night that took my breath away. We had some friends give us a blessing shower for the Grandkids. I was very nervous going because I don't like to be the center of attention. Give me a corner and I can be the best wallflower there is. And I looked around the room at all these people that were there for us. Giving the Grandkids gifts even when they didn't even know them. They blessed us with gifts, but they have no idea they blessed me with so much more. An unconditional love I've never felt before. God had used all of our friends to show me the real meaning of family. I am crying again just thinking about it.
And so I think regardless of where God moves us to next, we will be just fine. We will have our family in tow and will build memories that no amount of money can buy. And I truly believe the Grandkids feel the same way. One of the Grandkids asked me this morning if we would live in a big house or a really little one hoping for a "really big one" and I just asked him a simple question. I asked him if he had the opportunity to have a big house and a big tv, the best video games and a lot of stuff or have his Mom not work so much and spend time with him what would he pick. And he didn't even have to think about it. He said HIS MOM!!!!
I pray that you will not only help someone in need today even if it's a kind word but you will also allow others in. It will change your life, but more importantly it will change your heart. Believe me, I know. It happened to me last night.
"Be vigilant, listen obediently to these words that I command you so that you'll have a good life, you and your children, for a long, long time, doing what is good and right in the eyes of God, your God." Deuteronomy 12:28 (The Message)
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