I'm looking around my house at what a mess it is. I have friends coming over and I'm thinking I don't have any cookies made, I don't have laundry done and I don't have the house cleaned. It seems a little overwhelming to say the least. I have so much to do before 3:00. But then God reminded that I need to look at what is really important. It doesn't matter if the house is spotless. I doesn't matter if cookies are made. Snacks can be something simple and the laundry will get done eventually. God showed me why the house is a mess.
It's because I spent time with the Grandkids. I made an extra special breakfast. We painted even allowing the youngest which is 16 months old to finger paint. And kissed a Granddaughter that fell on her bike and needed some extra hugs and attention. God reminded me that everything I did this morning was way more important than preparing for a perfect visit with company.
I think it's like that for all of us every single day. We want everything to be perfect and spotless. Even ourselves. I know when my boys were little I was very bad about making sure the house was always very clean even to the point of a magazine on the stand had to be in a certain spot. If the boys would move it, it would frustrate me. Maybe I had a little OCD. And to be honest, I'm sure the 3 boys would move the magazine and go off in a corner just to watch me and my frustration. I'm sure it was a fun game for them to watch. I look back and wish I would have taken more time with them. I wish I would have taken the time to paint more, to ride bikes together more and to just plain have fun with them. I know that God is giving me Grandchildren to be redeemed and to know that I have Motherhood inside me, even when I never felt like a good Mom.
The other thing I realized is that I probably needed the house spotless because I wasn't spotless myself. I was a mess. My heart was damaged and all over the place. I was trying to cope with life by numbing with an eating disorder. To this day I want to be perfect for God. I want Him to be proud of me. But He doesn't expect us to be perfect. That's why His son died on the cross for us. We were made spotless by Jesus. We can be and look messy and that's perfectly fine. That just makes us normal. It means that we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and not come across as we have everything together. Just think, if we were to show how scared and frustrated we were more, others would realize that they are normal as well. We seem to live in a world that focuses on money and big houses and cars. And look at where our youth are at today. It's scary.
God is telling us to spend more time with our children, grandchildren and love them and teach them in the way they should go. But that just doesn't stop with our closest family. Others need to see that as Christians we are not perfect and we don't have it all figured out. That's why we have God. He helps us through any storm. If we had it all put together neatly then we wouldn't need Him and we would be just like everyone else in the world. Who wants that? I want to be unique. I want to help change the world. Even if that means I live in a messy house and I still struggle with life. I know that painting and laughing with my family is worth anything money can buy. This is life! This is the feeling God created me to have. Self worth for myself and for my family!
I might have shared this before. But I felt drawn to share it once again. This is your life. Is it everything you dreamed it would be? Click to Watch
Baby Picture
Orphan Georgie Ann
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
What is your familiar spirit?
Last night I was reminded of just how far God has brought me from my old life. I was remembering a conversation I had with a woman I was mentoring. We talked about familiar spirits. I explained to her that when I was younger, my familiar spirit was sexual abuse. So anyone that had either been abused themselves or was an abuser would be able to search me out. I always wondered if it was something written all over my forehead but as I've walked with God He has revealed it's much more than that. We have a tendency to find people with familiar spirits. Sometimes that can be a good thing and sometimes it can be a bad thing. Some people that live in misery surround themselves with people of the same temperament. Likewise with people that are seeking the truth and seeking to live their lives according to God's plan. That is why the church body is so powerful. Because when 2 or more come together things happen. Now the same is true when it is destruction that is involved. Sew good, reap good. Sew destruction, reap destruction.
My friend asked me if that familiar spirit ever leaves and I said yes it does. Once a person changes their spirit to do good and righteous things, the old goes away. So if someone that was an abuser was around me today, they would not get a sense that I was weak and that I would be able to be taken advantage of. Now I will tell you that I have a familiar spirit for people that have been abused because that is something you never forget. I've forgiven just not forgotten and God allows us to remember for our testimony. If it wasn't for my sexual abuse I wouldn't be able to help women to the extent I do today. So I can say with full honesty today I am thankful for all the trauma I went through. It's molded me into a woman with a mission. A mission to help save women from their own destruction.
So if you are living your life wondering if you will ever be able to get past where you are today. I am here to say absolutely! But you have to want to change that spirit about you. Because if you are used to living in the pit.....that's where you will have a tendency to hang out. It may be a pit, but it's your pit. It's what is normal and comfortable to you. But it's time to find a new sense of normal. Change your familiar spirit. The world is not going to change, so you need to do it yourself. I tell my youngest son. The town he lived in is not going to change. The people that he hung out with probably won't change but he has to. Because if he comes back home with the same spirit, it's only a matter of time before temptation takes over. We have to make ourselves strong enough so that Satan himself could show up at our doorstop and we could smile and shut the door in his face. I pray that for you today. Find the strength! It's in there. You may just need to look another direction to find it.
"Don't overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn't late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn't want anyone lost. He's giving everyone space and time to change." 2 Peter 3:8-9 (The Message)
My friend asked me if that familiar spirit ever leaves and I said yes it does. Once a person changes their spirit to do good and righteous things, the old goes away. So if someone that was an abuser was around me today, they would not get a sense that I was weak and that I would be able to be taken advantage of. Now I will tell you that I have a familiar spirit for people that have been abused because that is something you never forget. I've forgiven just not forgotten and God allows us to remember for our testimony. If it wasn't for my sexual abuse I wouldn't be able to help women to the extent I do today. So I can say with full honesty today I am thankful for all the trauma I went through. It's molded me into a woman with a mission. A mission to help save women from their own destruction.
So if you are living your life wondering if you will ever be able to get past where you are today. I am here to say absolutely! But you have to want to change that spirit about you. Because if you are used to living in the pit.....that's where you will have a tendency to hang out. It may be a pit, but it's your pit. It's what is normal and comfortable to you. But it's time to find a new sense of normal. Change your familiar spirit. The world is not going to change, so you need to do it yourself. I tell my youngest son. The town he lived in is not going to change. The people that he hung out with probably won't change but he has to. Because if he comes back home with the same spirit, it's only a matter of time before temptation takes over. We have to make ourselves strong enough so that Satan himself could show up at our doorstop and we could smile and shut the door in his face. I pray that for you today. Find the strength! It's in there. You may just need to look another direction to find it.
"Don't overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn't late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn't want anyone lost. He's giving everyone space and time to change." 2 Peter 3:8-9 (The Message)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Definition of Strength in You
I looked up the word "strength" today. I looked it up because I needed something to grasp on to. I needed more than just saying every morning "God please give me the strength to get through this day." The definition that caught my eye was "The power to resist attack; impregnability." And then I thought what does "impregnability" have to do with it. So I searched that word as well and it is defined as "invulnerability: having the strength to withstand attack".
When you look at all of this within the world it just means to get tough or something I've heard from a friend quite a bit "Suck it up buttercup". Which in turn, we take as numbing out or stuffing it down. I had a moment of weakness this morning when I completely shut down. My husband was trying to talk to me and I just stared off into space. I didn't feel very strong at that moment even when my prayer in the shower was the exact opposite.
I am very thankful that I have a husband that will pray for me when he sees I'm struggling. Even if I'm being stubborn and say I'm fine. We live life each day and try to take on the world on our own. What we need to realize is that we were never intended to take on the world by ourselves. We have a Father that loves us and wants to help us through any trial. He will equip as long as we are open to what He has to say. I know some people really don't understand how they can actually hear God or what I'm even talking about. But the great thing about it is that you don't have to do anything except have an open mind and a willing heart. God will meet you right where you are at.
When we've struggled on our own and decide to take the steps to live life according to how God calls us to live, He will start opening doors once we start shutting the ones that has lead us to the darkness. When we choose to change our lives, God will take care of us emotionally, mentally and financially. Bills will be taken care of in a way we never thought was possible. We are able to withstand any storm that comes our way. Will we still have challenges? Absolutely! But I am thankful that God loves me enough to take me to a new level and new rewards and the only way to get to them is by pushing through each struggle the appropriate way and it's not by shutting down which I did so well this morning.
I have spent so much of my life shutting down that it seems so normal that sometimes I don't even notice I'm doing it until someone calls me out on it. I know myself well enough to know that when I start reverting to my old coping patterns, it's time to take a look at my quiet time. It's not the quantity but the quality that matters. We think we need to sit and pray for hours to actually do it right. But God will take whatever time we can give Him. He knows our schedules and how busy they are. Sometimes just a quick cry out for help is all we need for that day. Or maybe a quick devotion. Since my life has changed and my schedule is busier than ever, that's what I need to be okay with. I think I am such a perfectionist that I tend to try and be an overachiever in everything I do which means my relationship with God. Then I get down on myself and feel like I'm failing. I'm not failing. I may not get on my knees for hours daily but I do talk to God all day long. He knows my heart and I'm not afraid to scream and say "What in the world are you doing?" He already knows I'm frustrated. It's not like I can hide it from Him. And once I scream it out, I feel much better. I don't want to stuff anymore down because I know that it will only turn to anger or bitterness and I need all the peace I can have in my life right now.
I pray that you will choose some sort of quiet time today and know that you are not failing. If you don't know where to start, just cry out and ask God to put someone in your life that will help you. You were never intended to carry any burden alone and God will send awesome people in your path to help you. The enemy loves your isolation. He can lie and lie to you until you actually believe the lies to be the truth. Seek out the real truth and the love of God and other people. You are beautiful and made for a purpose. You were not a mistake. You are the exact opposite - Life giving for yourself and for others.....an overcomer!!!!! God doesn't call the equipped - He equips the called. And that is YOU and ME.
“The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”- Psalm 121:7-8
When you look at all of this within the world it just means to get tough or something I've heard from a friend quite a bit "Suck it up buttercup". Which in turn, we take as numbing out or stuffing it down. I had a moment of weakness this morning when I completely shut down. My husband was trying to talk to me and I just stared off into space. I didn't feel very strong at that moment even when my prayer in the shower was the exact opposite.
I am very thankful that I have a husband that will pray for me when he sees I'm struggling. Even if I'm being stubborn and say I'm fine. We live life each day and try to take on the world on our own. What we need to realize is that we were never intended to take on the world by ourselves. We have a Father that loves us and wants to help us through any trial. He will equip as long as we are open to what He has to say. I know some people really don't understand how they can actually hear God or what I'm even talking about. But the great thing about it is that you don't have to do anything except have an open mind and a willing heart. God will meet you right where you are at.
When we've struggled on our own and decide to take the steps to live life according to how God calls us to live, He will start opening doors once we start shutting the ones that has lead us to the darkness. When we choose to change our lives, God will take care of us emotionally, mentally and financially. Bills will be taken care of in a way we never thought was possible. We are able to withstand any storm that comes our way. Will we still have challenges? Absolutely! But I am thankful that God loves me enough to take me to a new level and new rewards and the only way to get to them is by pushing through each struggle the appropriate way and it's not by shutting down which I did so well this morning.
I have spent so much of my life shutting down that it seems so normal that sometimes I don't even notice I'm doing it until someone calls me out on it. I know myself well enough to know that when I start reverting to my old coping patterns, it's time to take a look at my quiet time. It's not the quantity but the quality that matters. We think we need to sit and pray for hours to actually do it right. But God will take whatever time we can give Him. He knows our schedules and how busy they are. Sometimes just a quick cry out for help is all we need for that day. Or maybe a quick devotion. Since my life has changed and my schedule is busier than ever, that's what I need to be okay with. I think I am such a perfectionist that I tend to try and be an overachiever in everything I do which means my relationship with God. Then I get down on myself and feel like I'm failing. I'm not failing. I may not get on my knees for hours daily but I do talk to God all day long. He knows my heart and I'm not afraid to scream and say "What in the world are you doing?" He already knows I'm frustrated. It's not like I can hide it from Him. And once I scream it out, I feel much better. I don't want to stuff anymore down because I know that it will only turn to anger or bitterness and I need all the peace I can have in my life right now.
I pray that you will choose some sort of quiet time today and know that you are not failing. If you don't know where to start, just cry out and ask God to put someone in your life that will help you. You were never intended to carry any burden alone and God will send awesome people in your path to help you. The enemy loves your isolation. He can lie and lie to you until you actually believe the lies to be the truth. Seek out the real truth and the love of God and other people. You are beautiful and made for a purpose. You were not a mistake. You are the exact opposite - Life giving for yourself and for others.....an overcomer!!!!! God doesn't call the equipped - He equips the called. And that is YOU and ME.
“The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”- Psalm 121:7-8
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Allow Your Heart to be Changed
I am flying on cloud nine for sure this morning. It's not a secret that we have had our share of struggles lately but God showed us something new and unique last night. Or maybe I should just say He showed ME. God has been telling me for awhile to let people in and to allow them to love on me. I felt like something was going to happen but I wasn't sure what it was. And to be honest, I kept praying against a tragedy. And the thought of needing to rely on anyone else scared me. I've tried that my entire life and it never panned out so well. I've had family come and go, friends come and go and it just made me put a wall up thinking I could not trust anyone. It seemed as though the people that I got the closest to ended up breaking my heart or worse.
I can say that I am relieved that the "tragedy" I had been praying against didn't happen and that what God was preparing me for was Grandchildren in our house instead. I'm not saying it's been a road of bliss. It's actually been a road of adjustment that has been difficult for everyone involved and we're still not there yet. We're still not settled in to the routine of family because I don't know if anyone here really knows the meaning of that word.
My husband and I have so many variables in our lives right now. We are unsure where we are supposed to move to. We know we are supposed to sell our house but unsure of the next destination. We pray and we pray looking for the sign saying that this is it. We prayed yesterday morning for God to either shut everything down or allow our business to start making money. My husband came home yesterday and said he had sold 2 cars. He then asked me what I thought God was saying and I just broke down in tears. I just told him that I can't think about it anymore. Everything is overwhelming and it takes too much effort to try and figure it out. My brain is dead tired and fried. I even asked him if he thought I needed to be on medication in which I got the "husband look". Some of you may know the look I'm talking about.
But then God did something for us last night that took my breath away. We had some friends give us a blessing shower for the Grandkids. I was very nervous going because I don't like to be the center of attention. Give me a corner and I can be the best wallflower there is. And I looked around the room at all these people that were there for us. Giving the Grandkids gifts even when they didn't even know them. They blessed us with gifts, but they have no idea they blessed me with so much more. An unconditional love I've never felt before. God had used all of our friends to show me the real meaning of family. I am crying again just thinking about it.
And so I think regardless of where God moves us to next, we will be just fine. We will have our family in tow and will build memories that no amount of money can buy. And I truly believe the Grandkids feel the same way. One of the Grandkids asked me this morning if we would live in a big house or a really little one hoping for a "really big one" and I just asked him a simple question. I asked him if he had the opportunity to have a big house and a big tv, the best video games and a lot of stuff or have his Mom not work so much and spend time with him what would he pick. And he didn't even have to think about it. He said HIS MOM!!!!
I pray that you will not only help someone in need today even if it's a kind word but you will also allow others in. It will change your life, but more importantly it will change your heart. Believe me, I know. It happened to me last night.
"Be vigilant, listen obediently to these words that I command you so that you'll have a good life, you and your children, for a long, long time, doing what is good and right in the eyes of God, your God." Deuteronomy 12:28 (The Message)
I can say that I am relieved that the "tragedy" I had been praying against didn't happen and that what God was preparing me for was Grandchildren in our house instead. I'm not saying it's been a road of bliss. It's actually been a road of adjustment that has been difficult for everyone involved and we're still not there yet. We're still not settled in to the routine of family because I don't know if anyone here really knows the meaning of that word.
My husband and I have so many variables in our lives right now. We are unsure where we are supposed to move to. We know we are supposed to sell our house but unsure of the next destination. We pray and we pray looking for the sign saying that this is it. We prayed yesterday morning for God to either shut everything down or allow our business to start making money. My husband came home yesterday and said he had sold 2 cars. He then asked me what I thought God was saying and I just broke down in tears. I just told him that I can't think about it anymore. Everything is overwhelming and it takes too much effort to try and figure it out. My brain is dead tired and fried. I even asked him if he thought I needed to be on medication in which I got the "husband look". Some of you may know the look I'm talking about.
But then God did something for us last night that took my breath away. We had some friends give us a blessing shower for the Grandkids. I was very nervous going because I don't like to be the center of attention. Give me a corner and I can be the best wallflower there is. And I looked around the room at all these people that were there for us. Giving the Grandkids gifts even when they didn't even know them. They blessed us with gifts, but they have no idea they blessed me with so much more. An unconditional love I've never felt before. God had used all of our friends to show me the real meaning of family. I am crying again just thinking about it.
And so I think regardless of where God moves us to next, we will be just fine. We will have our family in tow and will build memories that no amount of money can buy. And I truly believe the Grandkids feel the same way. One of the Grandkids asked me this morning if we would live in a big house or a really little one hoping for a "really big one" and I just asked him a simple question. I asked him if he had the opportunity to have a big house and a big tv, the best video games and a lot of stuff or have his Mom not work so much and spend time with him what would he pick. And he didn't even have to think about it. He said HIS MOM!!!!
I pray that you will not only help someone in need today even if it's a kind word but you will also allow others in. It will change your life, but more importantly it will change your heart. Believe me, I know. It happened to me last night.
"Be vigilant, listen obediently to these words that I command you so that you'll have a good life, you and your children, for a long, long time, doing what is good and right in the eyes of God, your God." Deuteronomy 12:28 (The Message)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Find the Joy in Your "Nows"
I put on my status this morning that I am living on faith. To say that is an understatement. I told God this past weekend that I can not take "one more thing". I know that God is answering my prayers and maybe not in the way I would like, but He is answering them all the same. Sometimes I wonder if it's all a test to see if I will stand by God in the midst of all of these trials. And I'm sure that maybe a little of it is but most of it is just His design for my life and my families' lives.
I have to be honest....there have been times I've wondered what it would be like to go back to my old life. A life of no expectations. A life of fun. And then I remembered, this was not a life of fun. It was a life of lack of freedom. A life of selfishness in which no one mattered but myself. I was going down a road of destruction. I can look at some people that seem to have all the money in the world and seem to have it all together but I don't know what they go through each and every day. I've had a life of endless money and believe me it wasn't all it was cut out to be. Because that's what ruled our world. The money. Everything revolved around how much money we had or could make.
And now God has taken my husband and I to a place that money needs to be the last priority on our list. I don't think I've ever been this broke before in my life. I can remember a time when I was a single Mom and lived in an apartment that needed to be condemned. My youngest son and I stayed there and it should have seemed hopeless but it didn't. We enjoyed our time together. I enjoyed my time with God. That's where I found God....in the midst of my quiet time when I needed to seek Him and cry out to Him because I had nothing else. And it seems as though I've been taken full circle and here I am again. I can't imagine why. But I think about how we all get to a place where we worry about when the money will start rolling in so we can enjoy life. We always have the "whens" in our life. Like "when" I get a better job I will be happy or "when" I have a great guy in my life I will be happy. God wants us to know that the "whens" take away from the "nows". I have been given a blessing of taking care of beautiful children. To be honest it feels like a redemption of not feeling like a good Mom to my own sons. I look at how I am with these kids and realize I wasn't as bad as I thought. Yes I wasn't there for them in the way they needed for sure, but before I got so depressed and numbed out, I was a pretty darn good Mom. Their Dad was always busy trying to make more money so the boys and I spent all our time together. When I traveled to see family, I traveled alone with them. We always went to the movies together. And I was there for them. This may not be what they remember because divorce is an ugly thing. They may only remember what was told to them even when a good sum of them were lies. But someday they will know the truth. They will know how much I love them and how much I've always loved them.
You see, nothing is hopeless. Not our situation today. Not any situation down the road. God always gives us a second chance. And sometimes even a few awakening calls as I'm going through now. I need to stay focused on what's important in life and it's definitely not money. It's the love a child as they hug your neck or give you a big kiss. Or maybe just a smile or help from a great friend. It's not the "things"....it's the "needs" God has put before us. Which #1 is Him and then family and friends. No amount of money in the world can buy that. I'll take love over things any day! I hope you find the joy in your "nows" today!
"Listen with respect to the father who raised you,
and when your mother grows old, don't neglect her.
Buy truth—don't sell it for love or money;
buy wisdom, buy education, buy insight.
Parents rejoice when their children turn out well;
wise children become proud parents.
So make your father happy!
Make your mother proud!"
Proverbs 23:22-25 (The Message)
I have to be honest....there have been times I've wondered what it would be like to go back to my old life. A life of no expectations. A life of fun. And then I remembered, this was not a life of fun. It was a life of lack of freedom. A life of selfishness in which no one mattered but myself. I was going down a road of destruction. I can look at some people that seem to have all the money in the world and seem to have it all together but I don't know what they go through each and every day. I've had a life of endless money and believe me it wasn't all it was cut out to be. Because that's what ruled our world. The money. Everything revolved around how much money we had or could make.
And now God has taken my husband and I to a place that money needs to be the last priority on our list. I don't think I've ever been this broke before in my life. I can remember a time when I was a single Mom and lived in an apartment that needed to be condemned. My youngest son and I stayed there and it should have seemed hopeless but it didn't. We enjoyed our time together. I enjoyed my time with God. That's where I found God....in the midst of my quiet time when I needed to seek Him and cry out to Him because I had nothing else. And it seems as though I've been taken full circle and here I am again. I can't imagine why. But I think about how we all get to a place where we worry about when the money will start rolling in so we can enjoy life. We always have the "whens" in our life. Like "when" I get a better job I will be happy or "when" I have a great guy in my life I will be happy. God wants us to know that the "whens" take away from the "nows". I have been given a blessing of taking care of beautiful children. To be honest it feels like a redemption of not feeling like a good Mom to my own sons. I look at how I am with these kids and realize I wasn't as bad as I thought. Yes I wasn't there for them in the way they needed for sure, but before I got so depressed and numbed out, I was a pretty darn good Mom. Their Dad was always busy trying to make more money so the boys and I spent all our time together. When I traveled to see family, I traveled alone with them. We always went to the movies together. And I was there for them. This may not be what they remember because divorce is an ugly thing. They may only remember what was told to them even when a good sum of them were lies. But someday they will know the truth. They will know how much I love them and how much I've always loved them.
You see, nothing is hopeless. Not our situation today. Not any situation down the road. God always gives us a second chance. And sometimes even a few awakening calls as I'm going through now. I need to stay focused on what's important in life and it's definitely not money. It's the love a child as they hug your neck or give you a big kiss. Or maybe just a smile or help from a great friend. It's not the "things"....it's the "needs" God has put before us. Which #1 is Him and then family and friends. No amount of money in the world can buy that. I'll take love over things any day! I hope you find the joy in your "nows" today!
"Listen with respect to the father who raised you,
and when your mother grows old, don't neglect her.
Buy truth—don't sell it for love or money;
buy wisdom, buy education, buy insight.
Parents rejoice when their children turn out well;
wise children become proud parents.
So make your father happy!
Make your mother proud!"
Proverbs 23:22-25 (The Message)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Put out a Fleece Today!
"We often labor under the misguided notion that Satan wants us to do his will. Satan has no will in our lives. He only wants us to do our will. We have met the enemy, and he is us." (Having a Mary Heart - Joanna Weaver)
I saw this book in my bookcase this morning and was drawn to it. I just opened up the book and it randomly fell open to this page. I think it describes what I'm going through right now. I need to always look at every situation with the right mindset and that is I will prevail and the enemy will not use me against myself. The enemy knows my weaknesses and when I hit a place in my life that seems so difficult, in the past I would turn to an eating disorder or any way to numb out. It wasn't Satan grabbing my hands, holding them behind my back and making me use food as a way of coping. I chose that myself. I think many times Christians blame their sin and insecurities on the enemy. It's an easy way out. I myself have had moments that I get so ticked off at Satan that I could just scream. But when I do that I am giving him power. He is the father of lies. Sometimes we think that we hear a word from God. It seems like it couldn't be from anywhere else. But I suggest that you test any word that you hear. If it is from God there will be a peace and a sense of relief. Of course stepping into new territory is always a little nerve-racking but if you are trying to decipher if it is actually from God then pray and tell Him you need confirmation. I've done that several times and I will either read or hear the confirmation. God isn't difficult. He doesn't give you puzzles. He's straight to the point and has the quickest trip to our destination of happiness and peace. He wants the best for you and me. If you doubt that, then test the spirits or put out a fleece. Meaning, pray something specific for confirmation and if it is not answered then do not proceed. I'll give you an example. When I felt like I was supposed to go away for treatment for an eating disorder, I specifically told God that He would have to put everything into place effortlessly for me. When it came time for me to ask my boss if I could take a short leave of absence she started going into all the reasons I couldn't and I started praying to myself..."God if you want me to go, she will need to change her mind right now" and I'm telling you that quick she took a breath and a pause and said "We will work it out. We want you to go." He put all the steps into place for me.
Let me explain to you how He showed off to me on my trip to Arizona for this eating disorder treatment. Hummingbirds are very special to me. They have significant meaning. I was dropped off in Denver to spend the night and get on the airplane the next morning. I got to the airport alright but reality set in on how long I was going to be gone away from my boys and away from life. I thought to myself "I could just run. No one would even miss me for 45 days." And about that time they called for us to board the plane. And I kept hearing God tell me to look at the plane. I started walking down the hallway to board but couldn't see anything on the plane. Once I got to where I could see, there was a huge hummingbird on the plane. And I was seated at a window so that when I looked out I could see a very small hummingbird on the wing right next to me all the way there. I had such a peace come over me. I knew God was riding next to me.
That's what God will do for you too. Test Him. Not out of manipulation but out of obedience. He loves that we are willing to come to Him to make sure we are getting it right. We are not "bugging" Him. We are loving Him and asking advice from a Daddy that loves us beyond our wildest dreams. Take time on any decision you are having trouble making today. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”- Colossians 3:13
I don't know if someone reading this needs this scripture today but I felt like I needed to add this to the bottom of my blog. Enjoy your day - may it be blessed.
I saw this book in my bookcase this morning and was drawn to it. I just opened up the book and it randomly fell open to this page. I think it describes what I'm going through right now. I need to always look at every situation with the right mindset and that is I will prevail and the enemy will not use me against myself. The enemy knows my weaknesses and when I hit a place in my life that seems so difficult, in the past I would turn to an eating disorder or any way to numb out. It wasn't Satan grabbing my hands, holding them behind my back and making me use food as a way of coping. I chose that myself. I think many times Christians blame their sin and insecurities on the enemy. It's an easy way out. I myself have had moments that I get so ticked off at Satan that I could just scream. But when I do that I am giving him power. He is the father of lies. Sometimes we think that we hear a word from God. It seems like it couldn't be from anywhere else. But I suggest that you test any word that you hear. If it is from God there will be a peace and a sense of relief. Of course stepping into new territory is always a little nerve-racking but if you are trying to decipher if it is actually from God then pray and tell Him you need confirmation. I've done that several times and I will either read or hear the confirmation. God isn't difficult. He doesn't give you puzzles. He's straight to the point and has the quickest trip to our destination of happiness and peace. He wants the best for you and me. If you doubt that, then test the spirits or put out a fleece. Meaning, pray something specific for confirmation and if it is not answered then do not proceed. I'll give you an example. When I felt like I was supposed to go away for treatment for an eating disorder, I specifically told God that He would have to put everything into place effortlessly for me. When it came time for me to ask my boss if I could take a short leave of absence she started going into all the reasons I couldn't and I started praying to myself..."God if you want me to go, she will need to change her mind right now" and I'm telling you that quick she took a breath and a pause and said "We will work it out. We want you to go." He put all the steps into place for me.
Let me explain to you how He showed off to me on my trip to Arizona for this eating disorder treatment. Hummingbirds are very special to me. They have significant meaning. I was dropped off in Denver to spend the night and get on the airplane the next morning. I got to the airport alright but reality set in on how long I was going to be gone away from my boys and away from life. I thought to myself "I could just run. No one would even miss me for 45 days." And about that time they called for us to board the plane. And I kept hearing God tell me to look at the plane. I started walking down the hallway to board but couldn't see anything on the plane. Once I got to where I could see, there was a huge hummingbird on the plane. And I was seated at a window so that when I looked out I could see a very small hummingbird on the wing right next to me all the way there. I had such a peace come over me. I knew God was riding next to me.
That's what God will do for you too. Test Him. Not out of manipulation but out of obedience. He loves that we are willing to come to Him to make sure we are getting it right. We are not "bugging" Him. We are loving Him and asking advice from a Daddy that loves us beyond our wildest dreams. Take time on any decision you are having trouble making today. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”- Colossians 3:13
I don't know if someone reading this needs this scripture today but I felt like I needed to add this to the bottom of my blog. Enjoy your day - may it be blessed.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Reporting for Duty
My husband and I have been going through some challenges. I choose to call them challenges because it is just a bump in the road to our destination. With challenges, you face them and can either quit or move forward. I've chosen to move forward and the great thing about it is that we are both moving forward together in a way that we never have before. God is doing a mighty work in the both of us.
Now I have to admit that over the weekend I got angry at God and I told my husband so. I couldn't figure out what He was doing. I was trying to figure out why He had left us or the purpose of this difficulty that seemed to hang over our heads. Hadn't we been doing things right or were we being punished? And God showed me early this morning that I face everything as a mission. Anything He throws my way, even the smallest thing, I look at it and pray about what I need to do. It's like I keep putting my hand up to my forehead and say "Reporting for duty Sir". And He told me that I just need to look at it and let Him do the work, especially right now. I need to just enjoy what's in front of me and not concern myself with the details. I have to say that it was a relief to hear. I can take off my "duty gear" and put on my "play clothes". It's time to enjoy life.
Sometimes we pray for things and we feel like our prayers are not being answered but that is just not true. I did think that this past weekend. But now as this week has progressed so has the love of God in our lives. He is answering them in a way that I would have never seen in a million years. I've been praying for a sense of family and to have a place that our children, grandchildren, family and friends could gather. And He seems to be taking us to that place. A place that will finally feel like "home". Don't get me wrong, we've lived in a nice house. And have enjoyed it and been very blessed in so many ways. But this new "home" seems different. Maybe it is because my husband and I will be redoing and building this house together. It will be OUR home. Once that is full of God's love as well as ours. I'm excited.
I have to share with you what happened this morning. I had decided to take a shower while our youngest grandchild was sleeping. The other 3 were busy playing and I briefly said I was taking a shower but when I got out one of the older grandkids was standing at the front door looking outside with tears coming down his cheeks. I asked him what was wrong and he said "I thought you left me". I gave him a big hug and told him to look me in the eyes and I told him I would never leave him. And he smiled back as I wiped his tears and went back to playing.
This reminds me of God's love for us. He tells us He will never leave us and wipes our tears for us. Sometimes we feel all alone but God is right there. He is right next to us. He will not leave us. We are the ones that leave Him because we get tired of waiting or feel left alone. He is always waiting to give us a hug and wipe our tears and say "My Child I love you and I will never leave you. Believe that and know I will always be here. Now go on and play and live your life and let me take care of the details." I pray that you find comfort in knowing that today. Picture Him taking your face in His hands and telling you that you are going to be just fine and the challenges are going to be faced and won!
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
Now I have to admit that over the weekend I got angry at God and I told my husband so. I couldn't figure out what He was doing. I was trying to figure out why He had left us or the purpose of this difficulty that seemed to hang over our heads. Hadn't we been doing things right or were we being punished? And God showed me early this morning that I face everything as a mission. Anything He throws my way, even the smallest thing, I look at it and pray about what I need to do. It's like I keep putting my hand up to my forehead and say "Reporting for duty Sir". And He told me that I just need to look at it and let Him do the work, especially right now. I need to just enjoy what's in front of me and not concern myself with the details. I have to say that it was a relief to hear. I can take off my "duty gear" and put on my "play clothes". It's time to enjoy life.
Sometimes we pray for things and we feel like our prayers are not being answered but that is just not true. I did think that this past weekend. But now as this week has progressed so has the love of God in our lives. He is answering them in a way that I would have never seen in a million years. I've been praying for a sense of family and to have a place that our children, grandchildren, family and friends could gather. And He seems to be taking us to that place. A place that will finally feel like "home". Don't get me wrong, we've lived in a nice house. And have enjoyed it and been very blessed in so many ways. But this new "home" seems different. Maybe it is because my husband and I will be redoing and building this house together. It will be OUR home. Once that is full of God's love as well as ours. I'm excited.
I have to share with you what happened this morning. I had decided to take a shower while our youngest grandchild was sleeping. The other 3 were busy playing and I briefly said I was taking a shower but when I got out one of the older grandkids was standing at the front door looking outside with tears coming down his cheeks. I asked him what was wrong and he said "I thought you left me". I gave him a big hug and told him to look me in the eyes and I told him I would never leave him. And he smiled back as I wiped his tears and went back to playing.
This reminds me of God's love for us. He tells us He will never leave us and wipes our tears for us. Sometimes we feel all alone but God is right there. He is right next to us. He will not leave us. We are the ones that leave Him because we get tired of waiting or feel left alone. He is always waiting to give us a hug and wipe our tears and say "My Child I love you and I will never leave you. Believe that and know I will always be here. Now go on and play and live your life and let me take care of the details." I pray that you find comfort in knowing that today. Picture Him taking your face in His hands and telling you that you are going to be just fine and the challenges are going to be faced and won!
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Patience in Waiting on Him
I gave the message this past Saturday at Food Outreach and I just felt led to share some of it with you today in my blog. I hope this helps you in this season of your life as it is mine.
He knows it’s painful for us when we are waiting for our prayers to be answered. In fact I truly believe there are times that He weeps with us during the process. What we don’t understand sometimes is that it isn’t always about us. We can try to be righteous and upright Christians and then wonder why God seems to be punishing us. But it may just be that God is needing to put everything into place for us. I don’t think we realize every little detail that goes into orchestrating the paths of our lives. Our Father absolutely loves us and wants the best for us. That is why He tests our faith and character. He knows the little flaws that still need to be tweaked. But He lovingly adjusts them for us. The only way it is extremely painful is if we fight Him in the process. Do we ever stop to think that if we would just take a look at what He is showing us and make the minor adjustments life would run smoother? It’s like God is trying to take over the steering wheel of our car and drive the correct way for us and we try to take it back from Him because we know the quickest route. Which looks like the easiest, less painful way. But in the end it is the longest and most painful. I say let God have the steering wheel and enjoy the ride!
God asks us to be bold and confident while we are waiting.
“Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.” James 1:2-4
I recently heard a definition for hope as “the fuel for the journey of the unknown to known”. We are to be joyful under troubles. These trials are sent from God’s love. When we are waiting we need to make sure that patience, not passion is set to work in us. Passion cannot be the only driving force. We all have God-given passions. Some of us may know today what they are and some of us are still working on finding them. Regardless, our passions need to be developed. If I heard God tell me that He wanted me to build a home for troubled youth and I jumped on it today it would not be God’s timing. God has placed other responsibilities before me this moment in time. It is a passion, but it's not for right now. Actually that is a passion of mine.
God also asks us to serve Him while we are waiting. I know from my own experience that when I pour into other people’s lives in the midst of my own trials, that I am the one that is blessed. God uses my mouth to minister to others but as I’m speaking the words He gives me, I realize that they are just as much for me as they are for the people I’m talking to. Do you know how many times I will be talking and I will look up and say to God “I can’t believe you got me again” and shake my head? My Father is such a character. So instead of taking the victim role, God asks us to seek out others and help them in their own battles. When we stop focusing on ourselves and our own problems, life just seems to flow and we are able to wait joyfully on the Lord.
Deuteronomy 11:13 tells us to “love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul”.
“If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.” Job 36:11
God also asks us to Worship Him while we are waiting. We can rejoice in a Father that loves us so much that He sent His only son to die on the cross for us and our sins. I don’t know about you but whenever I’ve seen the pictures of Jesus on the cross...not the neat and clean pictures we see sometimes, but the one that truly shows his suffering I realize just how much God loves us. I look at my 3 sons and there is no way I could let anyone nail them to the cross and watch any one of them die right in front of me. I’m a small woman but I know that if anyone would try to hurt one of my children, I could do some major damage. I would not let that happen without a fight. So when the music comes on and even in the midst of our deepest trials we are to raise our hands and voices and praise our Father. It’s amazing how we can change our own attitudes by at least trying to be happy. Even if we don’t feel it, we can fake it till it just feels normal.
“Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.” Psalm 100:2
I think that the best example of this is Paul and Silas in jail......
They were unmercifully flogged and then, weak and bleeding, they were thrown into an inner cell of the prison and their feet were put in stocks. Their legs were spread wide apart and their feet put through holes in the wooden device which was used for torture as well as for securing the prisoners.
Did Paul and Silas moan and complain about being beaten and put in prison? No, the Bible says that about midnight they were praying and singing hymns to God. There were other prisoners in the cell listening to them.
Would we be able to do the same thing during such a time as that? After their singing, there was an earthquake and all the chains fell off of the prisoners and the doors were all opened.
Do you think the same would happen for us if we would stop to praise God during our trials? That the chains would fall off of us and we would be free. What is it going to take for us to realize that we don’t have to be weak in the midst of any storm. We can be secure in a Father that has put us on this earth for a reason. What is your reason? I used to say mine was to show other people what not to do or be but now I know that I have a passion to help other people heal and to know God. Some of those passions have been used by God and some are still being developed but I will be happy as I patiently wait for the rest to come.
I want you to listen to this song about “waiting”. It is from the movie “Fireproof”. Whether you are waiting for a marriage to be restored, a child to be returned home, healing in your body or any prayer that you have spoken for some time now....just remember that God hears your prayer. He has not left or forgotten you. He is building our character, and our faith along the way. I know that I would not be the person I am today if it wasn’t for the patience in waiting on the next healing in my life The trials have made me a stronger woman with a love for my Father that cannot be denied. I pray that as you watch and listen to this video you will let it go straight into your heart and know that you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you and that you can run the race while you wait.
Click for Video
He knows it’s painful for us when we are waiting for our prayers to be answered. In fact I truly believe there are times that He weeps with us during the process. What we don’t understand sometimes is that it isn’t always about us. We can try to be righteous and upright Christians and then wonder why God seems to be punishing us. But it may just be that God is needing to put everything into place for us. I don’t think we realize every little detail that goes into orchestrating the paths of our lives. Our Father absolutely loves us and wants the best for us. That is why He tests our faith and character. He knows the little flaws that still need to be tweaked. But He lovingly adjusts them for us. The only way it is extremely painful is if we fight Him in the process. Do we ever stop to think that if we would just take a look at what He is showing us and make the minor adjustments life would run smoother? It’s like God is trying to take over the steering wheel of our car and drive the correct way for us and we try to take it back from Him because we know the quickest route. Which looks like the easiest, less painful way. But in the end it is the longest and most painful. I say let God have the steering wheel and enjoy the ride!
God asks us to be bold and confident while we are waiting.
“Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.” James 1:2-4
I recently heard a definition for hope as “the fuel for the journey of the unknown to known”. We are to be joyful under troubles. These trials are sent from God’s love. When we are waiting we need to make sure that patience, not passion is set to work in us. Passion cannot be the only driving force. We all have God-given passions. Some of us may know today what they are and some of us are still working on finding them. Regardless, our passions need to be developed. If I heard God tell me that He wanted me to build a home for troubled youth and I jumped on it today it would not be God’s timing. God has placed other responsibilities before me this moment in time. It is a passion, but it's not for right now. Actually that is a passion of mine.
God also asks us to serve Him while we are waiting. I know from my own experience that when I pour into other people’s lives in the midst of my own trials, that I am the one that is blessed. God uses my mouth to minister to others but as I’m speaking the words He gives me, I realize that they are just as much for me as they are for the people I’m talking to. Do you know how many times I will be talking and I will look up and say to God “I can’t believe you got me again” and shake my head? My Father is such a character. So instead of taking the victim role, God asks us to seek out others and help them in their own battles. When we stop focusing on ourselves and our own problems, life just seems to flow and we are able to wait joyfully on the Lord.
Deuteronomy 11:13 tells us to “love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul”.
“If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.” Job 36:11
God also asks us to Worship Him while we are waiting. We can rejoice in a Father that loves us so much that He sent His only son to die on the cross for us and our sins. I don’t know about you but whenever I’ve seen the pictures of Jesus on the cross...not the neat and clean pictures we see sometimes, but the one that truly shows his suffering I realize just how much God loves us. I look at my 3 sons and there is no way I could let anyone nail them to the cross and watch any one of them die right in front of me. I’m a small woman but I know that if anyone would try to hurt one of my children, I could do some major damage. I would not let that happen without a fight. So when the music comes on and even in the midst of our deepest trials we are to raise our hands and voices and praise our Father. It’s amazing how we can change our own attitudes by at least trying to be happy. Even if we don’t feel it, we can fake it till it just feels normal.
“Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.” Psalm 100:2
I think that the best example of this is Paul and Silas in jail......
They were unmercifully flogged and then, weak and bleeding, they were thrown into an inner cell of the prison and their feet were put in stocks. Their legs were spread wide apart and their feet put through holes in the wooden device which was used for torture as well as for securing the prisoners.
Did Paul and Silas moan and complain about being beaten and put in prison? No, the Bible says that about midnight they were praying and singing hymns to God. There were other prisoners in the cell listening to them.
Would we be able to do the same thing during such a time as that? After their singing, there was an earthquake and all the chains fell off of the prisoners and the doors were all opened.
Do you think the same would happen for us if we would stop to praise God during our trials? That the chains would fall off of us and we would be free. What is it going to take for us to realize that we don’t have to be weak in the midst of any storm. We can be secure in a Father that has put us on this earth for a reason. What is your reason? I used to say mine was to show other people what not to do or be but now I know that I have a passion to help other people heal and to know God. Some of those passions have been used by God and some are still being developed but I will be happy as I patiently wait for the rest to come.
I want you to listen to this song about “waiting”. It is from the movie “Fireproof”. Whether you are waiting for a marriage to be restored, a child to be returned home, healing in your body or any prayer that you have spoken for some time now....just remember that God hears your prayer. He has not left or forgotten you. He is building our character, and our faith along the way. I know that I would not be the person I am today if it wasn’t for the patience in waiting on the next healing in my life The trials have made me a stronger woman with a love for my Father that cannot be denied. I pray that as you watch and listen to this video you will let it go straight into your heart and know that you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you and that you can run the race while you wait.
Click for Video
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Live in the "What If" for Tomorrow!
Have you ever had to put so much faith in God that your family depends on it? I'm not just talking about what we as individuals need but the livelihood of all you know depends upon it. Our family is at a difficult crossroad right now but thankfully I can put all my trust in God. It's like I told my husband last night....if I wasn't able to do that I don't know what I would do. I would have given up long ago. There are days that, believe me, it would be much better to go to sleep and not wake up to face another day of the same thing. The same difficulties as the day before. But I have to look at it in another way. It's not the same day of difficulties, it's a day closer to the breakthrough. Every day I keep telling myself. Push through this day Lori. It might be the last one in this healing process. You might actually make it to the end today. It's that hope in knowing that I'm continually working towards a life of joy, happiness and freedom. Freedom in knowing who I am and what I was put on this earth for. I'm ready to stand before millions and help change lives.
This morning I had a breakthrough in my life. I was praying and journaling about some of the people in my life I love the most...being my children. God spoke to me clearly and said that He loved my children before they were born. He knew the struggles they would endure and He put special qualities and characteristics inside of them to allow them to push through and win any battle placed before them. He asked me to stop rebuking myself and live life. To stop beating myself up for any damage I feel I might have caused. They will heal and be stronger and better for all the struggles in their lives. They can use their testimonies just as well as I have. In fact I think better. I pray every day for my children to reach people in a way that I can't. I know God has big plans for all of them. He's shown me and I'm standing on the promises I've been shown.
So today I will stand praying that very soon will be the last day of this season of healing. If I give up today.....what if tomorrow would have been "THE DAY". The day of turning everything around. The day of rewards. The day of such joy and peace that I can't contain myself. This is the kind of "what if's" I love to live for.
I'm pleading with you to not give up today either. Find your joy in the Lord and seek Him. Cry out to Him and let Him know you need Him. What if your dream is waiting when you wake up tomorrow? Are you willing to miss out on that? I know I'm not.
"Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going." John 3:6-8
This morning I had a breakthrough in my life. I was praying and journaling about some of the people in my life I love the most...being my children. God spoke to me clearly and said that He loved my children before they were born. He knew the struggles they would endure and He put special qualities and characteristics inside of them to allow them to push through and win any battle placed before them. He asked me to stop rebuking myself and live life. To stop beating myself up for any damage I feel I might have caused. They will heal and be stronger and better for all the struggles in their lives. They can use their testimonies just as well as I have. In fact I think better. I pray every day for my children to reach people in a way that I can't. I know God has big plans for all of them. He's shown me and I'm standing on the promises I've been shown.
So today I will stand praying that very soon will be the last day of this season of healing. If I give up today.....what if tomorrow would have been "THE DAY". The day of turning everything around. The day of rewards. The day of such joy and peace that I can't contain myself. This is the kind of "what if's" I love to live for.
I'm pleading with you to not give up today either. Find your joy in the Lord and seek Him. Cry out to Him and let Him know you need Him. What if your dream is waiting when you wake up tomorrow? Are you willing to miss out on that? I know I'm not.
"Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going." John 3:6-8
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