Why do we always want the fastest journey to any destination? I was driving today and was thinking about how I will look around and figure out the quickest route to where I am going. I analyze what's in front of me and if there is too much traffic and I may have to wait for very long, then I will take another road. I actually probably end up taking more time. It's so hard for me just to sit and wait in a vehicle. But as I was starting to do that this morning, I stopped myself. I drove straight ahead and by the time I got to the intersection, the cars were all gone and I was able to drive the original route to my destination.
I realize that I do that in life. I get impatient and I want everything to change right now. I'm okay for a short while but then my patience runs out and I'm ready to push forward. I read something recently that talked about not letting your passion overpower you patience. Yes we all have passion that is God given but it doesn't mean that we should take everything into our own hands to make it happen. If God has given me that passion, He also needs to develop it to the point of being able to use it for His purpose and glory. If we actually get bored or impatient and try to live out our passions on our own, we can do damage to others and ourselves. It's the same theory about doing something right at the wrong time is still the wrong thing.
I think when we get bored with our lives and it feels like we aren't moving anywhere then we need to ask God why not. Maybe we need to develop ourselves more and if that's the case, God will put the books or people with the knowledge we need around us. Maybe it is just that God is putting everything together for us. We may be ready but the world around us may not be. God's timing is always perfect.
If you are like me and get bored easy, then find good things to fill the time. Start studying the bible in a new way. Or start outlining a plan that you would like to carry out later in life. God doesn't ask us to just sit, wait and twittle our thumbs. Unless you have a hard time getting your mind quiet. I don't have that problem. I can sit in the quiet and feel at ease. In fact maybe a little too well. I think for now it's time for me to be comfortable in the craziness. And that has been arranged by God. We have a house full of grandkids that are living with us. My quiet time flew out the window but that is more than okay. I'm up for the challenge.
So I'm looking at this new season and I'm looking straight ahead like I did this morning. I'm not going to take any detours to try and make the season shorter or quicker. I'm going to take what God gives me and hold on to the promise that if I travel straight ahead and stay focused on Him that He will clear the way just like He did the long line of cars for me this morning. How much more simpler can it be than that?
“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”- Romans 15:5-6
Baby Picture
Orphan Georgie Ann
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Where is my Warrior Paint?
I had a good friend of mine send me a message regarding a situation in her life. As I was sitting looking at the computer wondering how I should blog this morning, I suddenly realized some things in myself.
One of the things I told her was that "regardless of the truth in all of it, we just need to be loved on". And I realized that this is exactly how I'm feeling right now. Honestly I've never felt so alone in my entire life. Some would say it is by my choice. But I have a peace in my heart that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing right now. Remember yesterday when I kept asking God the purpose in my son's dog bite? I knew it was not going to be a good situation on so many levels but I prayed through it and just stayed focused on my son. I know biblical truths and I kept asking God what I was supposed to do in a certain situation and yet He gave me peace that I was taking care of my hurting child.
I can remember a Pastor once told me "Lori, the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing." I was telling him about how someone was talking to me with anger when I was trying to help them and even if I was still trying to do the right thing and in biblical truth, the timing was all wrong.
I think one of the life lessons in what I'm going through is realizing how I need to change the way I mentor women. Sometimes we are so busy looking for the biblical truths that we don't necessarily see the heart and situations surrounding them. I have been guilty of that. I have worked very hard at being a women of character and in one quick swoop it was challenged. That saddens me. But as a friend once told me, put on the warrior paint and get ready to kick some major bootie. So I am not going to fight the ones that care and are just trying to help. I'm going to fight the one that wants me destroyed and that is Satan. He came close last night. But it didn't work and that is a victory in itself.
Push on beautiful women and find the comfort in your Father's arms. He's the only one that knows the whole situation and everything behind and in front of it. Let Him give you the truth and convictions if need be. He will do it in a loving way. Our trust needs to be solely in Him so that when troubles come our way, we don't lose sight of the big picture. And there is healing in any situation or circumstances. And I know that to be true for me right now.
"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”- James 3:17-18
One of the things I told her was that "regardless of the truth in all of it, we just need to be loved on". And I realized that this is exactly how I'm feeling right now. Honestly I've never felt so alone in my entire life. Some would say it is by my choice. But I have a peace in my heart that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing right now. Remember yesterday when I kept asking God the purpose in my son's dog bite? I knew it was not going to be a good situation on so many levels but I prayed through it and just stayed focused on my son. I know biblical truths and I kept asking God what I was supposed to do in a certain situation and yet He gave me peace that I was taking care of my hurting child.
I can remember a Pastor once told me "Lori, the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing." I was telling him about how someone was talking to me with anger when I was trying to help them and even if I was still trying to do the right thing and in biblical truth, the timing was all wrong.
I think one of the life lessons in what I'm going through is realizing how I need to change the way I mentor women. Sometimes we are so busy looking for the biblical truths that we don't necessarily see the heart and situations surrounding them. I have been guilty of that. I have worked very hard at being a women of character and in one quick swoop it was challenged. That saddens me. But as a friend once told me, put on the warrior paint and get ready to kick some major bootie. So I am not going to fight the ones that care and are just trying to help. I'm going to fight the one that wants me destroyed and that is Satan. He came close last night. But it didn't work and that is a victory in itself.
Push on beautiful women and find the comfort in your Father's arms. He's the only one that knows the whole situation and everything behind and in front of it. Let Him give you the truth and convictions if need be. He will do it in a loving way. Our trust needs to be solely in Him so that when troubles come our way, we don't lose sight of the big picture. And there is healing in any situation or circumstances. And I know that to be true for me right now.
"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”- James 3:17-18
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
New Journey!
It has been a rough couple of days. I don't think I realized how rough it was until the adrenaline slowed down. My son was bit by a dog recently. I had dropped him off at the school and 50 miles down the road I got a phone call from the school. She said to pull over on the side of the road for a minute. I was trying to figure out if my son had gotten in trouble so soon after arriving back at the school. But her words were..."Your son is okay. But he is on his way to the emergency room. He was bit by a dog in the face." I just sat there. I had just left him and he was more than fine. So I turned the vehicle back around and drove as fast as I could to the hospital. All the way there I was praying for him and kept saying "Please God, not the eyes. Let it just be a superficial wound." And then I was asking God the whys. Because I believe that everything happens for a reason so my instant thought was what was the lesson behind it. And I never really heard anything on that particular question for God.
I arrived at the emergency room and was greeted by 2 of my son's friends from the school. They were reassuring that it wasn't "that bad" and it looked much worse at the school. But that my son had looked at himself in the mirror and passed out. So I'm still wondering what I was going to see once I was face to face with my son. I made it to his room and of course his mouth was covered. His dad had called and asked if he needed to come and at that point I didn't know anything of specifics. I said I would be fine dealing with it. While I was on the phone I told his dad I hadn't even seen his mouth yet that it was covered and about that time my son removed his bandage and it just blurted out of my mouth "It is bad....really bad." And the next word I heard was "surgery". I had to sit down immediately. Now I can handle blood and anything gory, but there's something about seeing it on one of my sons that makes me queezy.
I sat in the waiting room for over an hour waiting for the surgeon to come out. I spent alot of that time talking to God. Still wondering the purpose. Still asking what God was doing in all of this. My son was very strong the whole time but once he saw me, he got tears in his eyes. I asked him if it was scary and he nodded several times. I know God was there because it could have been so much worse. After all, it wasn't even close to the eyes.
My son's surgery went fine and he will heal nicely with minimal scarring. Thank God for a great surgeon on staff at the hospital. But I didn't realize the purpose until the next day. More things happened in my life. I choose to not go into specifics, but let's just say some things were brought into the light and exposed at a whole new level.
I'm working on myself in the midst of all of it. I was journaling first thing this morning and once again God said to let the right people in to help me through all of it and that He would protect me from the people that will just be a distraction. He spoke specifically about people in my life. And I just broke down. I told God to change my heart. I want to be loved for me and to be worthy of love and not because of "works". Not what I can do for other people first. And I asked him why I feel such a drive to make sure I'm doing the right thing all the time and He said start blogging this journey and I will show you. So here I am once again. Going through a new journey taking a walk through the darkness to carry anything I'm holding into the light. And once again you are here with me in this journey. Thanks for riding along.
"By day you led them with a pillar of cloud, and by night with a pillar of fire to give them light on the way they were to take." Nehemiah 9:12 (NIV)
I arrived at the emergency room and was greeted by 2 of my son's friends from the school. They were reassuring that it wasn't "that bad" and it looked much worse at the school. But that my son had looked at himself in the mirror and passed out. So I'm still wondering what I was going to see once I was face to face with my son. I made it to his room and of course his mouth was covered. His dad had called and asked if he needed to come and at that point I didn't know anything of specifics. I said I would be fine dealing with it. While I was on the phone I told his dad I hadn't even seen his mouth yet that it was covered and about that time my son removed his bandage and it just blurted out of my mouth "It is bad....really bad." And the next word I heard was "surgery". I had to sit down immediately. Now I can handle blood and anything gory, but there's something about seeing it on one of my sons that makes me queezy.
I sat in the waiting room for over an hour waiting for the surgeon to come out. I spent alot of that time talking to God. Still wondering the purpose. Still asking what God was doing in all of this. My son was very strong the whole time but once he saw me, he got tears in his eyes. I asked him if it was scary and he nodded several times. I know God was there because it could have been so much worse. After all, it wasn't even close to the eyes.
My son's surgery went fine and he will heal nicely with minimal scarring. Thank God for a great surgeon on staff at the hospital. But I didn't realize the purpose until the next day. More things happened in my life. I choose to not go into specifics, but let's just say some things were brought into the light and exposed at a whole new level.
I'm working on myself in the midst of all of it. I was journaling first thing this morning and once again God said to let the right people in to help me through all of it and that He would protect me from the people that will just be a distraction. He spoke specifically about people in my life. And I just broke down. I told God to change my heart. I want to be loved for me and to be worthy of love and not because of "works". Not what I can do for other people first. And I asked him why I feel such a drive to make sure I'm doing the right thing all the time and He said start blogging this journey and I will show you. So here I am once again. Going through a new journey taking a walk through the darkness to carry anything I'm holding into the light. And once again you are here with me in this journey. Thanks for riding along.
"By day you led them with a pillar of cloud, and by night with a pillar of fire to give them light on the way they were to take." Nehemiah 9:12 (NIV)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Redemption Time!
Yes it's been awhile since I've done any blogging. I have kept myself busy. Notice how I've said that I am the one that have kept myself busy. Unfortunately it's been more busyness to keep me from thinking too much. It is not the appropriate "busyness" if there is such a thing.
My life is still as crazy as ever. Or maybe I should say just as emotional. I try very hard to not let my emotions get the better of me, but sometimes no matter how hard I try, the tears start flowing and I can't stop the spout no matter how hard I try. This past Sunday was a prime example. I went and spent the weekend with my youngest son. And it is always overwhelming. Not just the seeing him but the Parent Seminar we attend. I learn more and more about myself every time I go. You would like to say if anyone is attending a seminar as parents with troubled children that the whole focus would be on the children's issues. But God always has a bigger plan for me and not my son. I can try to figure him out all I want but he is not the one I can work on. I can only work on myself and pray for him.
I will have some life changes this weekend. My husband and I will be having grandchildren move in with us. Most of you would say "So. What is the big deal?" It really isn't a "big deal". I love these little people. But I'm used to having alone, quiet time. I told a friend of mine yesterday that it's not like I have 9 months to prepare for the change of children in the house. I have a week. I have 2 choices however. I can face it head on or I can lay around and feel sorry for myself. And to be honest, I did the latter yesterday. I didn't take a shower. I didn't even get out of my pajamas all day long. I was drained and I didn't care who noticed.
But God spoke to me yesterday. Every situation is a healing moment. And this is a huge one for me. He has told me that spending time with our grandchildren and living a life with them no matter how long the length will show me that I am not a terrible Mom. That I have changed. It is redemption time. And I wouldn't have had that if I would have stuck my head in the sand and not answered the call God is giving me right now.
Of course I haven't even begun this new season, but I'm ready for it. I'm not going to sit back and worry about it. I will face my fear and I will be victorious in all of it and have A LOT of fun along the way!
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”- Ephesians 4:32
My life is still as crazy as ever. Or maybe I should say just as emotional. I try very hard to not let my emotions get the better of me, but sometimes no matter how hard I try, the tears start flowing and I can't stop the spout no matter how hard I try. This past Sunday was a prime example. I went and spent the weekend with my youngest son. And it is always overwhelming. Not just the seeing him but the Parent Seminar we attend. I learn more and more about myself every time I go. You would like to say if anyone is attending a seminar as parents with troubled children that the whole focus would be on the children's issues. But God always has a bigger plan for me and not my son. I can try to figure him out all I want but he is not the one I can work on. I can only work on myself and pray for him.
I will have some life changes this weekend. My husband and I will be having grandchildren move in with us. Most of you would say "So. What is the big deal?" It really isn't a "big deal". I love these little people. But I'm used to having alone, quiet time. I told a friend of mine yesterday that it's not like I have 9 months to prepare for the change of children in the house. I have a week. I have 2 choices however. I can face it head on or I can lay around and feel sorry for myself. And to be honest, I did the latter yesterday. I didn't take a shower. I didn't even get out of my pajamas all day long. I was drained and I didn't care who noticed.
But God spoke to me yesterday. Every situation is a healing moment. And this is a huge one for me. He has told me that spending time with our grandchildren and living a life with them no matter how long the length will show me that I am not a terrible Mom. That I have changed. It is redemption time. And I wouldn't have had that if I would have stuck my head in the sand and not answered the call God is giving me right now.
Of course I haven't even begun this new season, but I'm ready for it. I'm not going to sit back and worry about it. I will face my fear and I will be victorious in all of it and have A LOT of fun along the way!
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”- Ephesians 4:32
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