New Heart

I'm having a day of struggle. And I hate to even say that because I stand on God's grace each day and know I don't have to live with any struggles. But I am feeling like this struggle is a good struggle if that is even possible.
I have been doing my Worship Size almost every day since God placed it on my heart to start teaching other women what I've learned. And it has changed my heart. In a way that is abnormal for me. I am falling in love with myself. God is showing me who I am and for once in my life I am comfortable in my own skin. Sure there are parts of my body that I'm not real crazy about but I am speaking life into those parts. I used to look at my body and see fat and disgust. I would look at different areas and curse them. But I know now that I can love myself regardless of my body being perfect. It may never be the way I want it to be but I know God wants me to have a strong body just as much as I want it. He needs me to be strong in mind, body and spirit so that I can do all that He calls me to without growing weary.
Now let me explain the "struggle" part. I have looked back at so much that I've endured or put up with by people closest to me and I realize that I don't have to live with shame anymore. I felt like I deserved the disrespect that was thrown my way so I just put up with it and smiled in the midst of all of it. So I am taking a stand and saying "NO MORE"! I do deserve respect. It's not that I'm going to go around bopping people on the head demanding it. I just know that I no longer need to hang out with people or put up with the unkind words or glares thrown my way.
I can smile not with a sense of having no voice, but smile knowing that I don't care what people think or say. I am a beautiful daughter of the Most High and He created me beautiful. And I refuse to feel anything different just because of the clothes I wear or if I'm not looking perfectly on the outside. Because it's my heart that matters! And God is showing me how beautiful mine is more and more every day.
I had the opportunity to be around a group of women recently that would point at other women and make fun of them. I was shocked! I guess it's been awhile since I've been around that. Just to sit back and watch made me angry but I also had a pity for them. How sad they must feel inside that they have to judge other women around them. It doesn't matter what we look like on the outside. And if they would just take the opportunity to get to know the ones they are making fun of, they may be surprised at how beautiful we truly are.
I praise God each and every day for the work He is doing inside of me. And I will live in victory - complete victory. Thank you God!!!!

"But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely." Galatians 5:22-23 (The Message)