Soar - Not Sit

I've spent the last few days isolating from everyone. I first felt guilty about it but knew I needed the time to get my head put on straight. I read through an entire book yesterday just to try and stop the visions of my youngest son's anguish in my mind. I know without a doubt that he is in a place that he needs to be. But this is so hard! I think about some friends of ours. They lost their son a little over a year ago due to a car accident. I've watched their grief from a distance and had no idea what they were feeling. But I can say I'm feeling some of it right now. The big difference is that some day my son will return. I can't imagine never laying eyes on him ever again. So I will take what God is doing right now over that any day. God is saving my son's life. I think back to the past year and realized that I didn't enjoy my son in a way I should have. It always seemed as though he was going in a different direction and I stopped knowing how to talk to him. Would I really want that to continue? To wait for the day I get a phone call that he is either in jail or dead?
I know there is a reason we are all going through this. I told my husband this morning, not only does my son need to change but so don't we. My son's entire family needs to change right along with him. We cannot expect my son to come home after working on himself and all of us have stayed the same. Quite honestly I don't think his healing would truly last. It's like putting a recovering alcoholic in a bar and expecting everything to be alright. At first he would have enough strength but with the temptation and struggles right in front of his face, how long would it last?
God has been showing me the reasons and I have to say I am excited. I know my son will turn around and help other young men to get out of their own pain and misery. But I also know as a family and community, others will step in and help me with a program to help our youth in southwest Kansas.
As I stated before I've been reading a book series. It talks about a group of women that God put together in order to help each other heal as well as help out in their community. I know that God has placed people in my life for such a time as this. I can think about the friends in my life that have the same passion. It's not by coincidence I can assure you. Everything happens for a reason. And every close friend that we fully trust is in our lives for a reason. We just need to look at the big picture and see why. We sometimes look at the pain we are in and forget to look past it and see what comes following all of it. I cannot wait till this pain passes but I have chosen to see what God needs to do with me in the midst of all of it. Because I know there is a reason for it. And there is a reason for yours as well.
I heard on the radio this morning "God wants us to soar - not sit" and that's what I choose today. I will not wallow in my own pain. I have to stay strong for my son but more importantly for God.

"You need to know, friends, that thanking God over and over for you is not only a pleasure; it's a must. We have to do it. Your faith is growing phenomenally; your love for each other is developing wonderfully. Why, it's only right that we give thanks. We're so proud of you; you're so steady and determined in your faith despite all the hard times that have come down on you." 2 Thessalonians 1:3-4 (The Message)