It's been a repenting week here at our house. It's so funny how God uses this blog to totally rearrange my thinking. I've had thoughts about myself and those closest to me for so many years and I never realized how twisted my thinking was until now.
I was thinking back to my blog yesterday and God showed me someone in my life that I've been frustrated with. So frustrated that at times I am beside myself with anger. I would wonder why she can't just figure it out? Why does she drag others down with her? When is she going to grow up? And then God revealed how my life used to be. Am I so vain that I think God can change me and my heart but won't do it for this person? That I'm more important than she is. Talk about some serious pride!
It got me to thinking about how we judge others around us. And if we take a look at the people that frustrate us the most, it's probably because they are flashing something into our own mirror that we don't want to look at. It might remind us of our own ugliness past and/or present. How many times do we watch reality television shows that degrade other people and think that's okay. Or maybe we just watch because it takes our minds away from our own lives. I have to admit I've watched "The Real Housewives of Orange County" a few times. It was good to escape into a world of the rich and famous. But as you really look at these women that say they are happy because they have it all, you realize they don't have anything at all. Their focus is the money and fame. And the fear of losing the money which then leads to losing the fame is always at the back of their minds. How sad of a life is that? I want to know who I am even in the midst of having absolutely nothing. And if God has to take me there to find it, then so be it. I would rather be poor and happy with life.
I don't want my life to revolve about judgements of others. I want to focus on God and my family. If I'm focusing on the right people and things in my life, then the rest will not matter. Other people that have opinions are just distractions. It's easy for us to be distracted with other people, then we don't have to look at ourselves. Satan would love for me to be distracted. Then I would not serve God's will for my life. The end would be here and I would be looking back saying "if only". I don't ever want to look back with regrets.
I am so thankful that we have an incredible pastor at our church. I know that he allows God to use him. I can attest to that in the fact every Sunday I leave service knowing he was speaking directly to me. Only God can use someone's voice to speak to so many people and filter it so that they hear what they need to hear that moment in time. If I'm honest, I will say there are times I've felt like maybe things in our church could be a little different. But God has put the leaders there for a reason. And when we "mean mouth" people in authority it's speaking of our character. And it makes it worse when we speak the same offenses to our children so that they can take on the same beliefs. It's a double whammy. Who am I to say that because I have an opinion, the church staff should listen to it. They have hundreds of opinions. But the only one that matters is God's. So am I going to trust God or not?
I want to help people and in order to do that and have the platform to do it, I have to check my character and make sure that I am not making judgements against other people. I don't want to gossip because I don't want others to gossip about me. So like I stated before, my knees have been on the floor once again apologizing and repenting to God for being prideful in my relationship with Him, and thinking I wouldn't need to help someone that was at the same exact spot I once was. The best way to thank God for saving me is to take my testimony and reach out to others. I have walked it...it's time for me to take someone else's hand and lead them through it as well. Is there someone that is flashing images in your mirror today? I hope that you will reach out to them. And even if that seems too difficult, then pray for them. Once you start praying for someone that irritates you the most, God will change your heart and satan will no longer have a hold of that area in your life.
"If anyone boasts, "I love God," and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both." 1 John 4:20-21 (The Message)
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