Yesterday was a busy day for me so I missed my blog but it was definitely not a day without God showing me more hope. As usual Saturday mornings are always an awesome day for me. It is our day for the Food Outreach. I enjoy this morning and look forward to it every week. There is so much God wants to do in this community and I can see signs of it each Saturday. We are a community of hurting people. I am so thankful that God took me in through our church and changed my life around or it could have turned out so differently.
I was talking to a couple friends yesterday and we were talking about hunting. I explained that I disliked guns, in fact I actually said the word hate. They asked me why and I had somewhat of a difficult time explaining that. When I was young, I had someone in my life point a gun to me and tell me they were going to kill me. It was a woman that hated me because her husband was molesting me and she blamed it on me. To this day even being close to a gun makes me cringe. I went on a trip to Denver with a friend a long time ago and she told me there was a pistol in the glove box if we need it for any reason. Just knowing it was that close to me made me literally start to shake. I've also had someone try to teach me how to shoot a gun but once they try to put the gun in my hand I lose it and have to be as far away from it as possible.
One of my friends yesterday said "I'm so proud of you for not turning to drugs with everything you went through". I then thought of how God had protected me from that. You see I would drink but never do any drugs. I can say I tried marijuana and absolutely hated it. People would be smoking pot around me but I would pass and drink instead. But I do remember one night someone asking me if I wanted to try cocaine. So I snorted it not once but twice and it had no effect on me whatsoever. I know that God's protection must have been on me even when I didn't know Him. He knew if I would have gotten that high feeling from cocaine one time it would have been over for me. Because numbing out was a huge part of my life so that would have been the ultimate way to do that. I didn't realize how much God loved me even then when I hadn't even acknowledged His existence. How amazing is that?!?
I pray that today even in the midst of everything that may seem difficult to deal with or being angry with the life that has been dealt you, that you can stop and thank God for even the littlest things. Because actually they are not that small. We can choose to use the bad things in our lives to become angry and pity ourselves or we can use them to help others get out of their pit! When we stop focusing on ourselves and help those around us, our problems seem to disappear. And by helping someone else work through life, it heals us in the process. Who is God sending your way to help you heal?
"Let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you." Psalm 5:11
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