I Want To Be Remembered For More!

I'm visiting my sisters for the weekend. Saturday would have been my Mom's birthday so we decided to make it a new tradition to get together every year on her birthday. I'm excited. My family kind of became distant once my Mom died. She seemed to be the glue that kept all of us together. When she passed away in 1999 it was hard on all of us. She died of pancreatic cancer. It was such a long journey for all of us. I would say that my Mom suffered the most, but looking back she was much stronger than any of us. She would never complain and stayed positive the entire time. They gave her 6 months once diagnosed and she lived a year. I cannot say it was a year of actual living. It was a rollercoaster ride for all of us but I know more so for Mom.
Her grandchildren were her life. There was so much to live for in her eyes. My youngest sister was pregnant with her first granddaughter. She promised my sister that she would be alive to see her. And also during that time my nephews were in separate accidents. My oldest nephew was kicked in the mouth by a cow and had to have his jaw wired shut and my youngest nephew was hit in the eye with a baseball and had to have surgery to fix bones shattered around his eye.
I can still remember the day I got the call from my oldest sister that said it was time. My Mom was bleeding internally and vomiting blood. I needed to get to Colorado as soon as possible. Even knowing it was the end my Mom stayed positive. She was laughing and smiling even when she looked and felt miserable. She wanted to die at home but we talked her into going to the hospital. We waited for the ambulance. And we all lined up to tell her goodbye. That was the hardest day of my life. Giving her a hug knowing it was the last time I could talk to her. I think back to how strong of a woman she had to be. When the ambulance showed up and they took her out on the gurney, she talked about how beautiful her yard was. I can't imagine leaving my house for the very last time and knowing I would never be back.
She laid in the hospital bed for several days. She was completely out of it. The only reason I think she stayed alive so long was because she still wanted to see her granddaughter. But I went into her room and whispered in her ear about my nephews and their recent checkups at the doctor's office. I explained that they were fine. And it wasn't long afterwards she finally let go. She fought a good battle for sure. I know God was trying to take her home several times because she would sit up in bed and have her arms stretched out like someone was there trying to grab a hold of her. Weeks before going to the hospital she kept asking if we heard the music. We couldn't hear anything but she would say "It's the most beautiful music I've ever heard." I would love to know what she heard and saw, but I know one day I will.
I just pray that I can live my life as strong as my own Mom did. She is an inspiration of how to remain strong, full of joy even in the darkest moments of your life. As we witness what Haiti is going through, we need to realize our own mortality. Heaven is real but so is Hell and we need to take a look at where we want to go when we pass on. I can't wait till the day I'm taken to my real home. Not that I want to leave this earth anytime soon but I know God has much more in store for me when I come face to face with Him in Heaven.
Just to let you know, my Mom passed away in August and my niece was born in October. Mom missed it by a couple of months. But when my sister was in the hospital after having her baby girl, she noticed a balloon hovering on the ceiling. It said "Beautiful Baby Girl" on it. She had no idea where it came from. She told a nurse that someone must have left the balloon there. And the nurse looked at her puzzled and said "We haven't had a girl born in this hospital for months." So my Mom found a way to tell my sister that she had seen her granddaughter after all. My sister still has the balloon to this very day.
I still miss my Mom and wished she was here to talk to. We would talk almost every day, but I know she is in a better place. No more suffering and she has a new body. She wanted to be cremated because she said she wanted the cancer burned out of her body. But it was just a body. Her character and what was on the inside was what mattered the most. Not the shell she was given to live in. What do you want to be remembered for? I know mine is not having the "perfect" body or face, but that I helped people and I made a difference. I want my character to shine bright!

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature[a]will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life." Galatians 6:7-8 (The Message)