I Dare You!

I couldn't sleep very well last night. Before going to bed I was thinking about so much of what I want to do with my life. You would think at my age I would not be thinking about that. It's usually something you do when you are in high school, but somewhere along the way I didn't have any thoughts of what I wanted to do when I was older. I just wanted to survive and be happy. I had no idea what that entailed. If you would have asked me when I was in high school if I would be doing what God has called me to so far, I would have said you were nuts!!! I wouldn't have seen myself being over Women's Ministry. I definitely wouldn't have seen myself mentoring women. I was a messed up girl. I didn't have aspirations. I didn't have goals or dreams. But here I am. God took a mess like me and created something wonderful. I don't want to sound conceited but I have to give God the glory for everything I am today and I need to thank Him and acknowledge His presence in my life.
I have bigger dreams. I want to open a building called "Hummingbird Haven - A Place of Hope!" It will include meals for people at a cheap price so that people can make sure their families have a hot meal at least once or twice a week. I want to have addiction groups, healing groups, fitness groups and training women/girls how to cook, just to name a few. My mind goes to so many different directions. I get so excited! I've looked at the building I want to purchase. It used to be a bar and had a nickname which included the word "Sin". How awesome would it be to change a place that was used to destroy lives to a place that is used for healing and God's glory.
This all sounds good except for the fact we have no money to purchase it. I'm not saying this because I want a hand-out. I'm saying this because I know my Heavenly Father is going to come through in a big way for me. I know that He has the most riches available for His children and I just happen to be one of them. So some day, I know that I will see a big red bow on top of this building from my "Daddy" because He loves me that much.
I know some of you reading this are skeptical to say the least. When we toured the building a few weeks back, I could see so much potential. I was walking through excited! I explained to the realtor what I wanted to do and he just looked at me with almost pity. And my husband said "Yeah my wife has big dreams". I know that my husband supports my faith in God but at the same time is hoping that I won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen for me. But I am holding true to what I want. Because I have given up way too many times in my life when it seemed to difficult to achieve.
I mentioned before I played basketball in school. I didn't practice much at home. In fact I was not one of those girls that played years in grade school like most kids do now. But I excelled in basketball. I could play with 20 yr old men and run circles around them. My sister and brother-in-law would play every week for fun at our community gym. I would go and play with them and no one would want to guard me. They just let me go. And when I played for our school if we were behind in points I would hear parents behind us telling our coach to put me in. And I could get us caught up. When I was a freshman I was asked to play on varsity. It was a great achievement for me. But it started getting in the way of partying and my friends. So I quit. I could have played through high school and possibly gotten a scholarship but I didn't follow through.
I also took piano lessons for years. I would practice every day. But not in the way most would think. If I was upset about something, I would sit at the piano and play until I had stuffed it down and could get up and be okay. Some days I would sit there for hours. In fact one day I was taking a class from a pastor and he molested me. I ran home crying. I went right to the piano and played and played and played some more. Mom asked me what was wrong and I didn't say a word. My mom told me she could always tell when I was upset because she could find me at the piano. I haven't played a piano in years. I have one in our basement collecting dust. I want to start to play again but once I sit down on the bench it just reminds me of darker days. I used to play very well and maybe some day I will once again. But God will have to get me through it.
So here I am today. Believing in myself but mostly believing in my Heavenly Father. I am still working on the loving and believing in myself. But I also know that I've come a very long way and I'm not about to give up or turn back. My passion in my heart is to help people and I know that passion was given to me by God. We all have passions deep down. I challenge you to think about what that is for you. Dare to let God take that passion and allow it to sprout and grow. That's what true happiness is for you. We were all created differently so that we can change this world. What is your part in it? Even if you don't feel like God could possibly use you, take a step of faith and see what happens. I dare you!

"If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open." James 1:5-8 (The Message)